


A Search for Belonging

by Rose_Icosahedron



Series: A search for Belonging [1]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Family Bonding, Gen, Pre-Hermitcraft, Video Game Mechanics, Watcher Grian, and also horrible parenting, general warning for people being mean to grian because he isn't human/normal, more warnings will be provided when nessiary, no beta we die like grians chance for an angst-free backstory, the fic is just one big giant angsty backstory, two in one!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-19 03:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29744301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_Icosahedron/pseuds/Rose_Icosahedron
Summary: this is the character backstory for another fic I might write.Xelqua is pretty bad at most things a young watcher should be, and it seems to reach a boiling point and they are thrown into the void and left for dead. this leads to a character backstory-esque story of self exploration, trying to find a place to belong, and trauma. so, so much trauma.
Series: A search for Belonging [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186160
Comments: 18
Kudos: 70





	1. Lore (for context)

This is some context lore for the fic I just wanted to start out with so everything makes sense, I know you probably didn’t come here for a lore dump, but stick with me for a bit.

Context lore drop one: player reproduction

Most mobs in minecraft reproduce through a single moment of attraction when not hungry, and just run up to each other then..baby.(also biological sex isn't a thing, like at all)  
Of course if player’s were having kids whenever they were well fed and felt attraction to another player… there would be way too many players. So for players the amount of attraction necessary is turned way up, not to mention it has to be intentional. So typically when a couple wants to have kids, they go ask their admin to work their magic. Any given player gets 50% of each parent's source player code.

Context lore drop two; Herobrine(inspired by syconsenti’s hermitbrine au)

Herobrine is the third player to spawn in, and has completely glitched player source code causing him to have at least theoretically a large amount of capabilities other players don’t.

This includes an inability to die, greatly increased stats(strength, durability, health, hunger bar) and a complete resistance to fire. He can summon a large amount of particle effects and the effects they trigger, overrule world borders/whitelists, and an affinity for mobs, as well as much more.

He’s somewhat anti-social, but has good intentions. Despite this he has grown a reputation as a hostile/destructive demon, monster, and cryptid 

Context lore drop three; watchers: 

Watchers are winged, angelic seeming beings who watch over players, enforcing a roughly lawful good set of ideals/laws when absolutely necessary, they keep an archive of everything that has ever happened and every book ever written, even those that the author did not show to anyone.

Their domain exists far above the end at the top of existence itself, however were you to attempt to make the journey, even in creative mode it would take years even if you were somehow lucky enough to start just below their domain, and by then the would most definitely have either stopped you or helped you depending on circumstance.

They live as long as (dnd)elves, and all have the capability for incredible feats of magic.

Both for the sake of genetic diversity and the knowledge that to many beings with such magical prowess would probably not be a good thing if a fight were to ever break out between watchers, new watchers are created half from the code of another watcher and half from a player picked at random.

sorry that there wasn't any actually story this "chapter", but I will post the prologue in a few hours


	2. Prologue part 1

(context, Xelqua is 75 at the time of the story, meaning they are the maturity of a 15yr old, since watchers are raised as genderless, pronouns are they/them for now)

Xelqua wasn’t particularly good at anything.

Well compared to a player at the relative same level of maturity as them Xelqua would be ahead in basically every aspect. But compared to other second gen watchers, Xelqua was both incompetent and disobedient in equal measure. Also insolent and idiotic and impatient. They could keep adding adjectives on, but it probably wouldn't help. After all you could only learn so much from any given mistake till you reached a point where all you were doing was lowering your self esteem. Although that was probably another thing that could be added to the list of Xelqua’s list of negative traits.

Releasing this path of thought would probably not help with anything, Xelqua moved to thinking about the particular mistake that had gotten them sent to their room this time. It was always interesting to figure out what exactly they were about to be scolded for before the scolding in question happened.

However this was the first time Xelqua had accidentally fireballed their sparring partner. This was also the first time Xelqua had accidentally fireballed anything. Or even lit something on fire for that matter. It was kind of a miracle that it had taken that long.

Still Xelqua had no idea how they had actually managed to summon a fireball. They hadn't even attempted to ast any kind of spell relating to fire. Ever. and it hadn’t felt like magic.

Either way, Xelqua was sitting on the edge of the bed trying to summon a spark of flame in their hand. They hadn’t managed to do anything as impressive as that before, and it gave them hope that if they could just figure out how to do this one thing right, then maybe-

Their thought was cut off however, as the door opened.

In stepped Ochav, Xelqua’s parent.

Come. Ochav gave the command to Xelqua psychically. That was strange, most of the watchers rarely were that rude or direct when telling Xelqua to do stuff, and even weirder that it was coming from their parent.

Xelqua slid off their bed, and slipped on their shoes and coat. However when they reached to grab their mask Ochav shook their head, and Xelqua put the mask back down on their desk. Strange, since Xelqua was normally forbade from leaving their room without it.

Xelqua followed Ochav through the watchers domain. While it had been over 20 years since they had seen the world outside of their room with eyes uncovered, they could tell they were being led somewhere they hadn’t been before.

Ochav? Where are we going? They asked. Ochav didn’t respond, and proceeded to speed up their walking pace.

As they walked Xelqua noted that the other watchers were avoiding Xelqua. Well avoiding Xelqua more than a 75 year old second gen watcher following their parent around while maskless would normally be avoided.

They came to a large archway, where two watchers were waiting for them.

“Is this it?’ one of them asked.

“Yes.’ Ochav responded.

One of the watchers grabbed Xelqua’s hand and began to pull them into the room. Xelqua heard Ochav whisper “im sorry” in their ear before they turned and walked away.

The moment someone started forcibly pulling Xelqua was the moment they realized maybe they should have been struggling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a note(heh) I'm planning on having a posting schedule of every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until i run out of pre-made content


	3. prologue part 2

Xelqua was pulled into a room with much more force than necessary, the door closed behind them.

The room had plain white walls and ceiling with a portal in the center. A watcher was standing at the console on the side of the portal, seemingly fighting with the settings.

“There is going to be an update tomorrow. Its got a name. The dev’s are calling it the world of color update”. As the watcher turned to face Xelqua they recognized them as one of the council of watchers, Icari. They were about to greet them properly with their name,when they continued to speak.

“It is a shame you will not be alive to see it.”

“What? I- I, you can’t be serious! It was just one fireball, I cant have done-” Icari cut him off.

“You did not make a mistake”

“Then why?”

“Your code is practically more glitch than normal code, it was not a mistake of yours. The fireball simply alerted us to an error we made a long time ago, you should be glad we found the error before it could cause more trouble.”

“Can’t you fix it?” from the way their demeanor and forehead shifted they could tell Icari had furrowed their brows.

“The error is not one that can be fixed, it was one in your creation. Deleting you is the only way to fix it.” Xelqua moved their hand across the door behind them, finding no way to open it; they began moving into the corner, pulling their wings around them giving a veneer of safety.

“Do not worry, with how badly your code is messed up, i doubt you could be considered a sentient being.” Icari said in an attempt to calm Xelqua. It did not have its intended effect.

“THAT’S SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?”

“It means your existence should logically be of no consequence.” They hesitated for a bit   
“it means your failure to meet our expectations wasn’t your fault.” They said, stepping towards Xelqua.  
“You should not have been forced to act logically as it seems it would have been impossible.” They took another step toward Xelqua.  
“You should not have been forced to do something that was impossible for you to do.”  
“You should not have been allowed to progress to a point of believing yourself to be a person.” Icari reached out and gently grabbed Xelqua’s wrist.  
“And you should not be allowed to continue” Icari used their other hand to cast a spell to open the portal. It swirled open, a dark black hole in the space in the middle of the room.

Icari then tugged hard on Xelqua, pulling them towards the portal, trying to position themselves with Xelqua in between them and the portal. The sudden forcefulness dazed Xelqua for a bit, but sensing the magic of the portal behind them, they tried to push back against Icari, despite the fact it was probably futile.

Icari however was much stronger than Xelqua, and continued to push them back towards the portal.

Xelqua was used to fighting people stronger than them however, and proceeded to change the angle they were going, so the momentum from the push directed them towards one of the walls.

The force of which they were pushed up against the wall knocked the wind out of Xelqua for a bit, allowing Icari to get the upper hand in the conflict.

Icari pulled Xelqua around and pushed them back in the direction of the rift.

Without thinking, Xelqua pulled their free hand in front of Icari’s face and summoned a blast of fire. This caused Icari to back off in surprise and pain, but the force of Icari pushing them away combined with the recoil from the fire caused Xelqua to fall backwards into the portal.

Xelqua fell through the portal, the last thing they saw were the flames consuming Icari’s body. That was definitely going to leave some scars.


	4. Prologue part 3

Then everything went black.

Xelqua felt themselves falling. It was cold, the air around them was getting thicker and thicker as they dropped, the pressure from it slowly crushing in on them.

As they fell it got worse and worse, the pressure building and building around them.

Xelqua felt their ears pop, the air became too thick to breathe.

And still they fell.

Xelqua felt the pressure continue to build, but could tell something was wrong. As in worse than being tossed into an all consuming void could be.

It had been measured how long players, even watchers could survive in the void.

They had been falling much longer than should be possible. They should be dead.

The air, was it even still air? Was getting thicker. They couldn’t breathe. they tried to gasp, yet nothing filled their lungs.

And it was getting colder.

Xelqua was about to pass out from lack of oxygen while falling into the void, something that was scientifically impossible.

\-------------------------------

Xelqua woke up(not re-spawned) after going unconscious in the void. They were lying on something soft.

Xelqua sat up and looked around. Everything ached.

They were sitting on an endless plain of fluffy light grey stuff that was slowly drifting down in little clouds from the black void sky above. There was no clear light source that Xelqua could see, yet the area around them was clearly illuminated. The light seemed to flicker in places, but consistently illuminated the empty landscape.

Xelqua found they could breathe again, although the air was somehow thinner than was preferable to Xelqua, who had grown up in the watcher homeworld, which had air thinner than even the highest peaks of the overworld. Additionally the air was full of the falling dust particles causing them to cough every few breaths.

They pulled up the fabric of their shirt over their nose and mouth to filter out the dust, wincing as the back of the shirt collar rubbed against their now tender neck.

They sat still, breathing in and out slowly, trying to prevent themselves from hper-ventilting from the stressful situation.

Xelqua had fallen through the void. And they weren’t dead. They were sitting under the void. Under the void. Under. the. Void.  
It was oddly peaceful. And very, very cold.

Forget getting crushed by the void or suffocating, Xelqua was going to freeze to death.

Xelqua wrapped their wings around themselves and closed the buttons on their jacket to stave of the cold as long as possible, trying to think of something, anything that could get them to a safe location

Xelqua couldn't tell how much time had passed, but they could tell it had been awhile. They felt cold. So very cold, and their eyes were starting to drift closed.

They didn’t know if they fell asleep if they could ever wake up

They rocked back and forth, trying to stay awake and generate even a small amount of heat to keep going.

Xelqua had begun to start whispering to themselves a while ago just so the endless silence wouldind drive them insane.

It had started out as a well thought out reflection of Xelqua’s inner thoughts, but had devolved into a repetitive chant whispering. “I don't want to stop. I don't want to stop, I don't want to stop, I….”

The words slowly became more unclear on their tongue, their eyes trying even harder to close, small icicles had formed on Xelqua’s feathers, clothes, and hair.

Xelqua felt hot. Too hot. But they knew they were still under the void, and this was just signaling late stage hypothermia. meaning they weren’t going to last for very much longer.

Xelqua had stopped rocking back and forth. Their whispering was barely more than short breaks between breathing. Their eyes began to close.

And then they felt a hand on their shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the prologue, it was actually already posted on tumblr, but the next chapter will be an ao3 special!


	5. Rock bottom

Another update, another attempt from the devs to remove him from the game. He had gotten used to it. The pain, the teleportation, the falling. The endless plain of light grey dust.

Herobrine stood up, dusting off his pants. He started walking. It took time for him to gather enough energy to teleport back to the overworld, and in a place cold as this staying still was ill advised.

He was walking absentmindedly. At least this was one place where no one was trying to kill him. It was awful cold, and quiet. And lonely. Well it was supposed to be. this time however, herobrine noticed something purple in the distance, sticking out of the monotone environment like a sore thumb. What looked to be a purple ball of feathers turned out to be a person with wings that were wrapped around themselves, seemingly to protect from the cold. Protecting themself from what would be inevitable had herobrine not happened to be there at that exact moment.

He placed his hand on the person's shoulder, almost flinching away because of how cold they were.

He was tempted to summon a flame to warm up the individual, but decided to wait and gather enough energy to teleport the two of them to the overworld, so for the time being he put his attention to surveying the health of the individual.

The person had barely reacted to his touch so he decided to investigate if the person was breathing. Carefully, he lifted the individual into his arms, and was able to see the faint rise and fall of the individual’s chest, more interestingly he was able to get a better look at the person while he adjusted them in his arms.

It looked to be a teenager, with no indication to their gender. They had a pair of light purple wings that had had icicles grow on some of the feathers. Their undershirt had been pulled up over their nose and mouth to filter out the ambient dust, but with how faint their breathing was herobrine decided it would be better if they could breathe freely at the risk of a bit more dust getting in their lungs. Then came to their clothes which were indicative of a watcher. 

Herobrine had seen a few before, they typically had paid him no mind, opting to focus on whatever disaster or event had caused them to come down to the overworld. It was strange to see one at the bottom of existence itself like this, especially one so young.

He held the child closer to his body, trying to warm them up with just his body heat.

Far too slowly herobrine felt his energy returning to him. He paced around, much more anxious than was typical for him. And he was anxious quite often.

When herobrine was finally able to teleport to the overworld he was impressed by the shock of the change in air temperature.

Maybe it was that he had had to spend more time down in the cold below the void than he did when he was on his own, or maybe it was the fact he had to share his body heat with another being who was so lacking in it.

Herobrine found himself in the middle of a field, surrounded by tall yellow flowers all facing the sun which was setting, painting the sky with bright colors. A warm breeze blew past, causing the kid in his arms to shudder in their sleep.

Herobrine looked around, looking for any place where they could find shelter for the night and warm up from the cold of the void. Luckily after a bit of looking around Herobrine saw the pointed roofs of a village, and began to head towards it.

As he got closer herobrine noticed that he couldn't see any villagers, and could see quite a lot of cobwebs. Although the village being abandoned wasn’t particularly a bad thing, in fact it meant he could pillage whatever resources had been left by its former occupants guilt free.

When they reached the village the sun was about to drift beneath the horizon. Herobrine located a blacksmith and moved to it, due to the warmth that would emanate through the building due to the lava in the smithy.

Herobrine set the child down on the floor of the blacksmith building. He then headed out into the rest of the abandoned village, looking for anything particularly useful that had been left behind, particularly a bed for his… companion?

When herobrine had returned to the blacksmith the night had begun, and he could hear the growls and hisses of monsters fill the night. He placed down a bed he had found and pulled the child into the bed. When he pulled the kid into the bed he noticed a very large bruise on their left wrist, as well as other faint bruising, probably from the fall through the void they must have undergone to end up at the bottom of the world.

He moved over and opened the blacksmith chest, inside were a few apples, a loaf of stale bread, a few ingots and nuggets of metal, and a single worn down iron pickaxe. After taking stock of his inventory herobrine shifted over to the bed and huddled next to it,allowing the exhaustion that came from teleporting two people to overcome him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> random lore time: Names: to watchers, names are important. They are a gift, and gifts are not discarded, neither are they lost or regifted. A name is unique and as much a way of identification as a part of one’s identity. There are no two watchers with the same name.


	6. Morning

Xelqua opened their eyes, blinking. They were tucked into a bed inside of a wooden structure, someone was resting next to the bed, with their head resting on the mattress. Xelqua tried to pull themself up to a sitting position, but winced as the bruises covering their body made themselves known.

Xelqua was sitting up now, the blanket pulled up around their legs and lower torso, their wings shoved up against the wall. They looked down at their arms, noticing severe bruising, and even a bit of dried blood on their left wrist. There was one chest in the corner of the room, it was propped open showing a small amount of basic resources.

And then there was the individual in the room with Xelqua. They were curled up next to Xelqua’s bed, their head leaning against the mattress. They had dark brown hair, tan skin, a teal shirt, and worn blue jeans. Xelqua had seen someone who looked like them before. Well not seen exactly ‘seen’ in the traditional sense, but someone who looked like one of the original players wasn't particularly common. In fact, there were only two people who looked like that, and they didn’t think Steve would be able(or likely) to rescue an ex-watcher from the void.

Other people would probably have a larger reaction to finding out they were most likely sitting(wounded) in the same room as herobrine, but they didn’t particularly have any reason to be afraid of him. Especially since they hadn’t ever seen any proof of the misdeeds so many players tended to pin on herobrine. Besides, if not for him they would probably be dead. That wasn’t a particularly nice thought. Xelqua shuffled that thought to the back of their mind and attempted to stand up. Of course the pain from the bruises prevented this, but did succeed in jostling herobrine a bit.

Herobrine blinked a few times and sat up straight, startling Xelqua. Herobrine grunted a bit, still in the process of waking up, then pushed himself up off the ground, stretched, and turned to face Xelqua.

“Ah, you're awake.” Herobrine observed.

“Mhm.” Xelqua acknowledged Herobrine, then attempted to nod their head, which caused a headache to flair.

They stared at each other for a bit in awkward silence.

“Are you… okay?” Herobrine asked. Xelqua stared at him for a bit, they ran their tongue over their lips, looked down, looked back up, and tried to speak.

“╎-” they cut themselves off, noticing how dry their throat was as soon as they tried to talk. Instead they just shook their head causing another spike in the headache. With this herobrine seemed to look... nervous.

“Oh, do you only speak galactic? I don’t know very much galactic um… ⍑ᒷᔑꖎℸ ̣ ⍑ ꖎᒷ⍊ᒷꖎᓭ ᔑ↸ᒷᑑ⚍ᔑℸ ̣ ᒷꖎ|| ⍊ᔑꖎ⚍ᒷ?” Xelqua starred at Herobrine, trying to determine whether it would be more painful to respond through shaking their head or actual speech. Or-

Xelqua closed their eyes and tried to reach out psychically to Herobrine.

Im fine. I just need some water. And yes i speak english.

“Oh.” Herobrine calmed down visibly(it was suprily easy to read his emotions, but that was probably due to the fact Xelqua had learned how to read the emotions of people who hardly ever emoted and wore masks over half their faces.). “Water. I can do water.” Herobrine reached into the chest and pulled out three iron ingots, and went outside.

A few minutes later herobrine returned with a bucket of water and handed it to Xelqua. Xelqua awkwardly lifted up the bucket with their one good hand and began to drink from it. Its was surprisingly cool for water that had been presumably sitting around in the overworld. When they put the bucket onto the ground about half of its contents had been consumed. With a bit more grip on the situation, Xelqua noticed how hot they really were, and proceeded to unbutton and remove their coat and overshirt, so they were just left with their white undershirt, which while still put Xelqua’s temperature above that of the watcher homeworld, it was much more bearable.

“Is that better?” herobrine asked. Xelqua nodded, and noticed that with the reduction in temperature and added water their headache had mostly subsided.

“Thank you Herobrine.” Xelqua said, looking Herobrine in the eyes.

”you know who I am? And you’re not running away or trying to kill me?”

“Yes. and I have no reason to expect hostility from you, in fact I suspect if not for you I would be in the void and-” dead Xelqua cut themselves off. “thank you for your help.”

“Of course. What kind of person would I be if I left a kid to die in the middle of the void? You are a kid right?”

“You would be the kind of person everyone thinks you are. And yeah I could be considered a kid.” xelqua looked at herobrine for a bit. “The first one was a rhetorical question wasn’t it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> random lore of the day: interdimensional passports.
> 
> looking at a player's file to determine their identity would be invasive to say the least. so there are passports. these documents are given to players by whatever admin helped with their creation, and detail information like date of birth, name, and other basic info that can be used as a means of identification.
> 
> also remember that every comment that gets left causes me to write another chapter.


	7. Healing, step one

Time skip- one week later

Despite herobrine’s worries that Xelqua might be in danger if they stuck around herobrine, Xelqua had made it clear they intended to stay with herobrine, at least for now.

Herobrine was not accustomed to having a traveling partner, especially one who was so… respectful to herobrine. Not in a generally treating him like a person kind of way, but more of the way one would treat a community leader. In fact they would normally only do things with explicit permission from herobrine, which seemed to also include casual conversation.

They were four days out from the village, having taken a few days to gather resources and heal from injuries sustained from their time in the void.

Well most of them. It was clear something additional had happened to Xelqua’s wrist, however they seemed intent on not talking about it. In fact they seemed intent on not divulging any personal information to herobrine at all aside from their name. Not that herobrine had pushed for any answers of any kind, having a traveling partner was quite enough.

They were currently sitting in a small cave, a small fire had been lit in the center and two beds had been placed against the walls. Xelqua was sitting on one of them, their legs tucked close to their chest with one arm wrapped around them. They were staring intently at the fire, the light flickering in their heterochromatic eyes.

It was quite strange. Most watchers wore masks over their eyes. At least all of the ones herobrine had seen. However Xelqua didn’t seem to have one. perhaps it was something only watchers got when they became adults or maybe they had lost it in the void.

Herobrine hadn’t eyes that looked like Xelqua’s before. One was completely black, except for a purple iris. Black sclera wasn’t that uncommon among players, although they usually came with some kind of end heritage. Xelqua’s other eye was the strange one. It was plain white like herobrine’s, although Xelqua’s eyes didn’t seem to glow at all. Herobrine had only seen a handful of players with plain white eyes in his entire life, and it was always the result of some kind of glitch or error in code when the iris and pupils didn’t load properly. Or at least that's what he had heard. Herobrine didn’t know nearly enough about player code to figure out if that was even the case.

Herobrine was staring again. He started at people a lot, usually from a distance though. It felt much more invasive to stare at someone who knew he was there for some reason.

Xelqua reached up into their hair and began to undo the braid it was in. it had been in that braid for a week, which was quite long enough. Usually they took out their braid before a shower, but because of their current predicament they hadn’t showered for a week. It was impressive how bad they could smell, just from a single week of uncleanliness.

Xelqua noticed that herobrine had been staring at them for a while. While having herobrine’s complete attention would probably unnerve most players, it was substantially less intense than the constant attention most watchers gave their surroundings. However herobrine noticed Xelqua noticing his stare, and he quickly turned his attention to his inventory, but not quickly enough to miss Xelqua flinch when they accidentally pulled on their left hand.

“Your wrist still bothering you?”

“Mhm.” Xelqua mumbled, still trying to un-braid their hair. Herobrine moved over to sit next to Xelqua.

“Can I see your arm?” Xelqua nodded, extending their arm to herobrine. Herobrine placed his hand on Xelqua’s wrist and then closed his eyes for a bit. Then faint red particles formed in the air around Xelqua’s hand. It was like Herobrine had used a healing potion on Xelqua’s arm without a potion.

“Thank you.”Xelqua said, then they moved their wrist back in a quick motion that caused the pain to flare up again. 

‘Does it still hurt?”

“Yeah.”

‘Hmm.. that should have fixed it completely. Maybe you broke it? Healing magic doesn’t do much good for that kind of stuff.'' Herobrine pulled out a strip of cloth and some sticks and used them to fashion a makeshift brace on Xelqua’s lower arm.

“If we can find a world command console I could teleport us to a world with doctors.” Herobrine looked worried at this. “A small world of course, find a small community and see if they can help us out, or maybe just me if you're worried about being recognised.” Herobrine thought for a bit.

“That's probably a good idea, and it would give us something to look for… do you know how to find one?”

“They typically generate near zero zero. Unfortunately neither of us have a communicator, so unless you have some way to track coordinates, we will just wander around and hope this world’s one generated above ground.”

“I guess that's better than nothing. Now come on, you should eat something.’ herobrine said, holding out a loaf of bread from the village chest to Xelqua. They took it and began to eat it, then tucked themselves into bed, facing the fire. Their hair was still loose and it lay strewn about their pillow as they drifted off to sleep.


	8. water and sunsets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short note before we get started, according to ao3 statistics only a small percentage of the people who read this fic subscribe or bookmark it, so go ahead and subscribe, its free and you can change your mind at anytime.  
>  also apparently there is this glitch going around that removes kudos from a work so go and check that your kudos is still there/j

Minor warning for motion sickness.

They had been walking in one direction for a few weeks now, stopping and raiding the few structures they came across for food and supplies. They hadn’t talked to each other much.

Herobrine had hoped that Xelqua might tell him a little more about themself, or at least how they had broken their wrist. However they had stayed quiet for the most part aside from necessary communication, and herobrine didn’t want to push.

I was nice to have someone around anyway, even if they were much quieter than would be considered normal. At least for most humans, herobrine had no idea what was normal for a juvenile watcher, although their entire situation definitely wasn’t it.

The sun was setting when they reached a beach. The sand was still warm from the day under the hot sun. herobrine set to work constructing a dirt hut. Xelqua usually didn’t do very much when it came to the construction of their temporary shelters, it was mostly due to their wrist injury, but herobrine expected they didn’t have any experience with building.

When herobrine was finished he turned around to see xelqua sitting on the beach, staring at the setting sun. Herobrine sat down next to them.

Xelqua was idly running their fingers through the tips of their hair. It had gotten quite tangled very quickly due to lack of care, and at this point could almost be described as matted.  
Sunlight reflected off of Xelqua’s eyes, and illuminated their face with a few flickers of golden light. Even though they had only been in the overworld for about three weeks they had developed a scattering of freckles across their cheeks and forehead. Their coat had been if not discarded, stashed away, and their overshirt had been tied around their waist.

And they were smiling, a faint smile to be sure, but one of the first ones Herobrine had seen on their face for the entirety of their time together.

“You know I always heard that sunsets over oceans were beautiful, but this is so much better than I could have imagined.”

“Guess so, I wouldn’t know, though.”

“Oh, did I say that aloud?” Xelqua said looking down at their lap. They then looked to herobrine “what do you mean you wouldn't know? I mean growing up in the overworld I suppose it would just be a fact of life but… hm.” they looked back up at the sky.

“I was there for the first sunset. It was actually very concerning at the time. I guess I never really had a chance to notice how beautiful sunsets really are.” Xelqua nodded and then stood up and went inside.

The next morning they stood looking at the ocean. Well more accurately their next obstacle.

“Can you swim?” herobrine asked Xelqua.

“Yes, a bit. Although I would rather not swim across an entire ocean.”

“Same here.”

“I could fly?”

“Then how would I get across? Besides you might get tired and I wouldn’t want to be flying above an ocean when I was tired.”

“Boat?”

“Boat.”

Now I'm going to be perfectly honest as a narrator and zoom out for a bit while our heroes make themselves a boat and take out into the ocean and tell you about one trait they both happened to share. A fear, or at least strong dislike of water, well being in bodies of it.

The first time herobrine encountered a body of water he didn’t know what it was and almost drowned. And the largest body of water Xelqua has ever been in was a large pool that they learned to swim in. not to mention that getting your feathers wet is supremely uncomfortable. Of course properly preened wings don’t get wet from rain or a shower, but wings that haven’t gotten preened in a few weeks going into a body of water is a different story.

So suffice it to say that both of our heroes were quite uncomfortable with their current situation.

Now back to the story, now from Xelqua’s perspective.

Motion sickness was not a concept Xelqua was particularly familiar with. Of course they had heard about it, and felt dizzy at times. But they hadn’t ever been in a moving vehicle before. They also had that strange notion one often seems to develop when they hear about something others find hard that for whatever reason everyone is exaggerating it and you will be able to handle it no problem.

This notion was fairly quickly dispelled. To herobrine’s credit the rowing was pretty uniform, there were no lurches of speed. If there were, Xelqua would probably have thrown up by now.

It was still unpleasant. And that was only one of the many complaints Xelqua had about this journey.

The sun was beating down hard, their wings and legs were cramped, and they were in a small boat in the middle of an ocean squished up against another person. That in itself was quite unpleasant. And it was very boring. At least when you are walking you feel like you are doing something.

Xelqua began to comb through their hair with their finger tips, trying to remove some of the tangles.

“I am bored.” herobrine announced, seemingly putting a voice to Xelqua’s thoughts.

“Ok?”

…

…

…

“Usually saying my troubles aloud helps to deal with them.”

“Still bored though.”

“Are you bored Xelqua?”

“No.” Xelqua said, almost on reflex. “I mean yeah I guess just a little. Sorry for lying about that.” Herobrine raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t need to apologize for something like that Xelqua.”

“But I do. You're not supposed to lie to superiors. And sorry for contradicting you just now, I shouldn’t have done that as well.” Herobrine hesitated for a bit.

“First of all, what makes me your superior?”

“I mean you are older than me. I know that. Sorry for assuming you are my superior, if i wasn’t supposed to do that.”

“Someone being older than you doesn’t automatically make them worthy of respect Xelqua.”

“I know that, there are bad people. But I don’t think you're one of them, I have no reason too.”

“That may be true, but just because you respect me, or because i'm older than you doesn’t mean I'm infallible. No one is. And finally you don’t need to apologize for something as casual and small as that, and its okay to lie sometimes. Sometimes you need to keep a secret. Remember that, okay?”

“Okay.”

…

“Its just, I owe you, don’t I? You have been looking after me for three weeks, and I have hardly done anything for you, in fact all I have been doing is using up your supplies and slowing you down. I owe you respect.” Herobrine seemed almost angry at this.

“You are a kid. You don’t owe anyone anything just for taking care of you. Taking care of a random kid is just common courtesy. Being kind is just a common courtesy. You don’t owe anyone anything for it. Don’t ever think you owe someone just for the bare minimum. Your trust and respect are things only you can give, and you should be careful who you give them to. Make sure they earn it” herobrine sighed. Then looked back at Xelqua and smiled. “Are you hungry?”

“Yeah.”Herobrine stopped rowing for a bit to pull out an apple and handed it to Xelqua before counting to row. They reached a landmass before night fall, and set up camp on a beach. They sat and watched the moon rise just as they had watched the sun set the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the incredibly forced and awkward beginning notes, but i would appreciate if you leave a comment, it makes my day.


	9. Nameless(part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names: to watchers, names are important. They are a gift, and gifts are not discarded, neither are they lost or regifted. A name is unique and as much a way of identification as a part of one’s identity. There are no two watchers with the same name.

Worlds consoles open to the air are rare things, they are what an admin has over any of their players, and they usually spawn near spawn. And they are the traditional method used to transverse between servers.

An unclaimed world console could be used by anyone with an interworld passport, and could be used to summon a new copy of a pre-existing one should it be lost for whatever reason.

When they found one there had been a hope that Xelqua’s passport could be used to transport the both of them to a minor hub-world of some kind, and find someone who could help with Xelqua’s injured wrist.

Xelqua turned on the console, they hadn’t gotten to use one themself before, but had read tutorials and watched older watchers and a few players use them before and was decently confident with their abilities.

/start  
/set interface: transport  
/browse local worlds

A list of worlds appeared on the interface, Xelqua ran through the logged worlds before the found one that seemed promising, and called herobrine over.

“green hub 25-38-16?”

“Yeah, it looks like fairly generic small community hub that this world is connected to, we could go there, its probably not big, but big enough that we could probably find a doctor or two.”

“I'm not very comfortable being in a hub world, it doesn’t matter if its small, I still might be recognised.”

“We are going to have to go somewhere with at least a small population if we want to be certain there is going to be a doctor. Besides if we get you a pair of sunglasses and a change of clothes you will be… distinctly less recognisable.” herobrine sighed

“We do need to get you actual medical attention, and with my random teleporting we could end up watchers know were, so i guess we're going to green hub 25-38-16.” herobrine conceded. Xelqua resisted the urge to say ‘no, the watcher don’t actually know where you are going to end up’

/select green-hub-25-38-16  
/teleport @nearestplayers(2)

Xelqua placed their passport on the scanner on the panel.

Error: passport outdated. Update? (y/n)

Huh, that's weird. It should be fully updated

/y  
Enter player number  
Player number entered  
Player number incorrect  
/exit worlds list  
/view watcher passport “Xelqua”

…  
Passport located

Xelqua looked over the theoretically updated passport info displayed on the screen.

It wasn’t theirs.

Yes, it was a watcher file. Yes it was someone named Xelqua. Yes they were Ochav’s kid. But they were only a week old.

Xelqua had been replaced.

Their existence… just wiped over by the watchers.

They knew they were considered a mistake by the watchers, being thrown out like that. But…

Xelqua lifted their passport back off of the panel, and turned it off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: the hex code 253816 appears as a shade of dark green
> 
> this was going to be a one-part chapter, but im evil so… cliffhanger!


	10. Nameless (part 2)

Xelqua stepped back and sat down on the grass, wrapping their wings around themselves.

Without knowing, they had been hoping there was some way they could go back. Some way, somehow.

But they had been erased. it probably wasn’t even the first time it had happened. They had only created a fireball a few hours before they had been abruptly thrown into the void. It was efficient. And also completely illegal unless there was some secret special case for glitches that people didn’t get told about. 

But… there were no rules about glitched watchers that commanded their destruction, not unless they were actively in great pain(mercy), or uncontrollably creating destruction. 

But that didn’t matter. Council member Icari had been fully in it, nothing could be done.

Watcher Xelqua of 75 years of age had been erased. Their name had been given to someone else.

And they? They were a nameless glitch sitting in a field alone.

“Xelqua? Are you okay?” a hand was again placed on Xelqua’s shoulder

No, nameless, and a glitch, but not alone.

They were two glitches in the middle of a field, they had been tossed out of every place of civilization they had ever entered. But they were not alone.

They hadn’t allowed themself to tell herobrine about anything. They hadn’t taken the time in the month they had been together to tell anything, to or to let anything out. Or even to acknowledge anything was wrong to themself. It had just been to get home.

They turned their head around to face herobrine. They folded one of their wings around him and nudged him into a sitting position next to them. And then they leaned into herobrine.

“No”

One of herobrine’s arms was around their shoulders, and he reached up to wipe a tear off of their cheek. They hadn’t been aware that they were crying, but after one tear fell, more followed. The individual who was no longer known as Xelqua buried their head in herobrine’s shirt and sobbed.

Watchers didn’t sob. They weren't supposed to, and if they did it was in private, and definitely not into someone else’s shirt.

But they were not a watcher. They were an outcast, a child, in the middle of a field. crying into an outcast's shirt.

But of all the things they were, they weren't alone, maybe for the first time ever.

And they didn’t want to be alone ever again.

\-----------------------

They(the individual no longer known as Xelqua) stayed sitting for a long time. They had eventually stopped crying, They were now leaning Their head against herobrine, who was stroking their matted hair.

They looked up and watched the trees rustle as faint breezes cleared the top of them. They removed their wing from around Herobrine and sat up straighter, tucking their knees to Their chest.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Probably.”

“If you want to say something I’m here, Xelqua.”

“I- that's not my name. Not anymore.”

“Oh? What do you mean?” Herobrine tilted his head.

“Well… um. Names for watchers are unique. For any given watcher name there is only one watcher with that name, so all identification is tied to names. Apparently my name has been given away to a new watcher. My sibling I guess.”

“And that means?”

“Any record of me existing is… gone. I'm just a mistake Icari couldn’t clean up properly.” they started picking at the grass.

“What do you mean a mistake?” there was a hint of worry in Herobrine’s tone.

“I… Icari said my code was glitched and they couldn’t fix it, so they um… got rid of me. I wasn’t causing any problems though. I don't know… I… hmm.” they looked down at the grass. “What am I now, herobrine? I'm just a nameless glitch that can’t die properly, aren’t I?”

“No. You are a kid. And you deserve the chance to act like it.” Herobrine turned to face Them. “I'm guessing you can’t use the control panel, so we need to figure out what to do next.” Herobrine stood up and offered his hand to Them. They took it and stood up. “I could teleport us somewhere random, if we are lucky we will end up somewhere you can get help for your wrist.”

“Or we could end up somewhere else, somewhere dangerous. Or in the middle of an entirely different uninhabited world. My wrist is feeling a bit better anyway. Its not worth the risk.”

“Then what?”

“We stay here. Its not a bad spawn all things considered. Build a base, make some farms. You know, act like players.”

“You sure?” Herobrine asked. They nodded.

“Let's do this, I'm tired of sleeping in dirt huts.” They turned around and headed to the forest at the edge of the field. “I have always wanted to punch a tree.”

“Wait, we already have an axe.” herobrine said, following after them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will definitely be a chapter on Friday, but after that i might now be able to post again till april 2, although hopefully i will be able to start up again before then.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really exited to try to write a fic again, I don't know if I will finish it, but bear with me.


End file.
